stage #1: denial

stage #1: denial

Stage #1: Denial.

I tell myself
To try out cigarettes
Because they are pretty
The way you tell yourself
To taste her lips
Because they seem sweet.

Like an impersonal brand of love,
Store-bought, handmade,
Smelling like the liquor your father drinks
On the nights your mom comes home late.

I understand, I will not beg.
I will not ask. I don’t need that,
Even though I wish I had
Because I’ve always been one
To talk about not needing a person to be in love.

Because there are other things
To fall in love with
Like sunsets and paintings
And the art of the written word
And the art of me.